The Day I Got Conned by a BBQ Buffet…

Part Three of my Adventures in Vietnam

So we’ve already established that I like BBQ. Really, really like BBQ. And if you’ve been following my articles you’ll also know that a few months ago I went to Vietnam and that while I was there I got scared off the traditional Vietnamese BBQ food and learned some life lessons. Well, I have one more confession to make… I also got completely and hopelessly conned by a BBQ buffet. I wanted so much for it to be true…

 I’ve spent two years living in South Korea and I found Vietnam to be really familiar. In fact everything felt so familiar that I found it really difficult to get my head around the money: when I lived in Korea you could divide the price by 1000 and that was the price in Australian dollars. For example, if something cost 10,000 won, that was $10 Australian. So on the first night when I went to buy a bottle of Gatorade and a toothbrush and had to pay 100,000 dong I freaked out. It wasn’t until I got back to the hotel and looked up exchange rates on my computer that I realised that 100,000 dong is about $6 AUD… I even found myself craving Korean food. Fortunately there were a whole bunch of Korean restaurants right near my hotel.

Conned 1

Korean food… in Vietnam… fantastic!

I found a fantastic place at the top of a building on the major roundabout in the Old Quarter and got a table out on the balcony so I could watch as the city switched from day to night. I was pretty convinced that this was the roundabout that Hamish and Andy had their mini-bike race on. A week later I looked it up online and found out that their race was actually in Ho Chi Minh, not Hanoi… I really was in fine form…

Conned 2

The amazing view from my table

As I was siting there at my table, drinking my icy cold beer and eating my fantastic Kim-bab and Dok Bokki I noticed a particular sign on the building across the street.

Conned 3

Could it be? All my dreams come true for $18?

I spotted a sign that got me unreasonably excited. An all you can eat BBQ buffet? More than 80 varieties of brisket, ribs, steaks, sausage, pulled pork, chops, shanks, hamburger and seafood? For $18? It was too good to be true. I was already more than half way through my Korean food, otherwise I would have had to leave and go there right away. Plus, I needed time to watch the traffic and plan my route over there: contrary to Australian cities, the streets actually seemed to get busier at night time in Hanoi.

Conned 4

It started out so promising!

I went there the very next night. I took the elevator to the eighth floor and was overwhelmed with the amazing aromas that met me as I stepped into the room. I could smell so many different things cooking that a tingle started in my toes, rose through my belly, up to the hairs on the top of my head and then settled back down in my belly.

Conned 5

Surprise! More Korean food!

I started to get suspicious when I sat down at a table and recognised it as a traditional Korean kalbi table. And then I got the menu. It turned out that there were only 12 types of BBQ on the menu. When I asked about the other 68 types of BBQ the waitress pointed to the salad bar and simply said ‘BBQ here’.

Conned 6

I pity the poor little piggies these ribs came from!

Now don’t get me wrong, all you can eat Korean BBQ and a massive salad bar is awesome, but it is most definitely NOT 80 types of ‘BBQ’ – it’s ONE type of BBQ! Where was my brisket, my pulled pork, my chicken lollipops? It was truly, staggeringly heartbreaking.

Conned 7

Mmm Mojitos…

I did enjoy the $4 Mojitos though. And then… something something… I woke up back in my hotel…

So, have you ever been outsmarted by a street sign? Let me know when you’ve been conned: it would make me feel better!

Related Stories

6 thoughts on “The Day I Got Conned by a BBQ Buffet…”

  1. I am always cautiously optimistic when I spot a BBQ sign or advert, even state-side! I couldn’t imagine approaching this with any less caution, perhaps even bordering on skepticism. Thanks for documenting your experience!

    1. Hi Christopher,

      I really should have known better, you’re right, but I just so wanted it to be true. Still, it was an interesting adventure. What’s the best BBQ joint you’ve been to?

      Ben

      1. Best ‘cue I have ever had came from a husband and wife competition team that served up from a storefront in between. They were kind of out in the country so I didn’t get out there often, maybe 8-10 times a year for two years. I liked Teddy Bear BBQ so much I even had them cater my work events a few times.

        I was planning on taking one of their workshops when their relationship hit the end of it’s timeline and they split, the husband taking his craft to Texas and his wife going back into the technical industry with me. I can still sometimes smell their brisket…

        1. Hi Christopher,

          That’s a really bittersweet story mate. Do u know if the husband is still in Texas cooking BBQ? He might have a restaurant open somewhere.
          It’s funny that you say they were a husband and wife competition team: my wife and I are about to compete in a comp and have just applied to be on a televised comp! Hopefully competing together isn’t the kiss of death for a marriage!
          Thanks,
          Ben

  2. Konrad Haskins passed last year. Never got the opportunity to take a class with the man. His ex-wife still lives in WA and works in the technology industry. Total sweetheart and a hell of a pitmaster herself. I get an invitation every now and then for a backyard cookout at her house but have yet to take her up on it.

    1. Sorry to hear that he passed away. Sounds like he would have been one hell of a mentor! You should take up the offer from his ex-wife for a cookout: knowledge like that is shame to lose. And then pass that knowledge on to me! 😉

Leave a Reply