The Night I Nearly Starved A To Death...
Experimentation is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can result in a pregnant woman gnawing on your coffee table like a North-American beaver!
It was New Year’s Eve 2010, and I’d invited a group of eight or so friends around for a BBQ dinner to celebrate, one of whom was pregnant. I’d just seen the ads on television for Sweet Potato Fries on the television, the kind that you bake in the oven, and thought ‘I can do better than that’. So, I decided that I was going to add these to my meal plan, and no, of course I didn’t need to practice: they were chips, how hard could it be? And I was just busting to try out the side burner on my new, replacement BBQ (see my post The Day I Nearly Blew Up My House… for more hilarious fun…).
I dutifully started preparing the food at 6pm, planning on a 7pm grill-start for a 7.30pm serving (Oh, I was so naive…). I looked at the ten people in the house and cut my sweet potato fries, then cut some more fries, looked at the ten people in my house again, and then cut some more fries. Then I went out the back to get started.
I had my frypan with vegetable oil going on the burner and loaded it up with fries. Then I waited. And waited. And waited. Then I pulled the cooked chips out and put them on the warming rack on paper towels. Then I put the next batch of fries in. And waited. And waited. Then I pulled these chips out and put them on the warming rack. Then I put the next batch of fries in. You can see where I’m going with this…
In the meantime, my wife had been a dutiful host and served every form of entree/horderves/appetizer she could find. Finally, I walked back into the house with my trays of cooked foods. At 11.30pm.
To be greeted by the hungriest woman I have ever met in my life.
At this stage, I hadn’t had children myself and so didn’t truly understand how pregnancy can turn a woman into a
grizzly bear very hungry woman. My friend’s wife had been SO polite and SO patient, but I could see the whites of her eyes as she lumbered towards me and my trays of BBQ’d goodness.
With my lightning-quick ninja reflexes I threw some food on a plate and slung it in her general direction before serving up the rest of the party.
As we counted down the end of the year whilst eating our steaks, I noticed the matching teeth and claw marks in the coffee table and that is when I learned my lesson about trialing new recipes. Only took me, like, three more times to actually remember it…